DenkiWolf

I feel like I keep failing.
Over and over, in the past, I have said I would do projects, and they never got done.
I would start working and for some reason or another they just wouldn't work out.
It feels crappy, but I just don't know what to do about it.
I want to move on from my failures, but every time I do it feels like I fail again.
The same has happened today...
I realized I don't have a partner, or at least, not as much of one as I need for my latest project and that has just left me feeling crappy.
I don't want to stop the project, I really like them, but I feel... I guess I feel now I just don't want to do them because I feel I will be ridiculed for them and even worse, have no one to talk to about it that will really get it.
It's been even worse because the person who was gonna help I really should have noticed earlier it wouldn't work out that way.
He's a really good friend of mine at school, but he is really bad when it comes to doing projects like this.
Especially since when I asked him to help he would constantly make harmful jokes and wouldn't provide anything.
I'm now left in a state of what can I do?
I just don't know and I'm, frankly, scared... I need someone here who can help me with the projects.
And I don't want to give up fighting for this, because it is something I feel very passionate about, but I just can't seem to get it to work out.
It really hurt today when I was so psyched to work on it (Which I can't till the end of the week because of mid terms) But after what has happened... It's so hard now.
I get the feeling I don't want to do it but then I have another saying I do, and I'm just confused and tired of failing with what I pursue.
I want this to work!
I love what it is and I want this to work!
I have a lot of fun doing it.
And that was another thing. He was saying today that the reason there aren't many animators around here is because it's too hard and no one wants to do it, hurt me a lot, especially when he continued to say that it isn't fun to do.
Well I enjoy the crap out of it, the little I've done.
I've had a lot of fun sequencing and have caught on to the fundamentals extremely quick.

Anyways... I know not many people read this, but it's just something I wanted to get off my back and put up somewhere.
I won't say who it is, of course, and he is still my buddy, I just realized I need someone else to help me.
Huh, this has already calmed me down a lot.
No wonder people blog a lot.

Anyways, again, I guess I will end it with this... Thanks to anyone for continuing to read to this point.
I know I don't have many people advidly looking at my DA, but still... typing this all out has been really nice.

Oh and if you want to see a test of what I am talking about here is the link : denkiwolf.deviantart.com/art/W…

It's pretty aweful, but the test has really helped me learn a lot about what I need to do next.
Anyways, thanks again.

So I am working all of my characters in my Modern style.
Starting with my Human Persona, all the way down to random ones through out the ages.
And yes, now I have a human Persona.
His name is Tsuyoshi Christer and is a summoner.
And I am doing Denki of course.
Actually doing the premiere of the negative Denki Narikura.
Draw Exatin, Zazio, Chad, Prof. Bolt, Cat, Tien, and a few more.
These are just the main really.
Tsuyoshi is inked and to be colored and Denki/Narikura are still being drawn.
I've been meaning to convert a lot of these from Rp to picture, but just haven't.

Kekeke, it seems as though it's been a while since I've done a Journal.
That doesn't seem fair, especially with the topic of the last Journal.
So, I want to give an update on that.

He's a Douche.
Update done.
....Ok, sorry.
I "Forgave" him for maby 2 months then he acts like an A** at my b-day party which we do every year for me him and a friend of mine who all have the same b-day with in 2 days.
Biggest problem was after being a Jerk to me, later I do a friendly joke passing off the jerk moment and he decides to call me a jerk.
Really?
So We just kind of stayed away from each other all night, with a few more times of him calling me a jerk for more harmless jokes, that literally everyone else was doing.
So I come to find out my dad heard the first time he called me a jerk and was pissed at him the rest of the night.
Now, my dad is a pastor and he NEVER curses.
Over anything, but when he told me that he flat up said "He was being an a**"
That made my night.
Lol, so I am not talking to him, and he has no clue why I am not answering his text's.
Literally.
So anyways, He's a Douche.
Like most say, there is one in every family.
Btw, yes he is a cous in law.

Anyways, I am actually feeling much better now.
Working on my art not giving a crap what haters say.
The Project right now is a test of my new Copic markers.

Oh yes, and as you can tell from the first sentence, I have gotten into Sgt. Frog.
Lol.
Thanks for listening all!
And thanks for all the help!

I think I'm going into a miniature Depression again because of a jack-*** I call my "Friend".
He bluntly told me, in a serious manor, that my art is bad, my comics are boring, and that listening to me on youtube feels like hours even though it is only 10 minutes.
We have been having problems like this all ready, but this really tipped it.
I stopped talking to him for the most part.
I don't want to stop being his friend, but at the moment I don't ever want to see his face again.
He told me this when I was stuck because he got me to the fricken location.
I was on the brink of punching him in the face, calling him a few words, and getting my friend to drive me home.
I want to draw and get even better to show him, as they would say, but every time I try I see all I do wrong and get so depressed, I actually get worse.
I know it's a learning process, and I know I shouldn't let people get to me.
But theirs a difference between just some faceless person online who doesn't know me, and some one I call a "Friend".
I can deal with the faceless people because they don't know me, and don't want to, so why should I care.
But then when a friend does something that a troller on youtube stoops down to, it just really gets to me.
What makes all this worse is the fact that he KNOWS I am wanting to be a Graphic Designer.
So when he says it, it hurts 10X harder.
Oh, and I have tried telling him it hurt me, but he turns it around and blames it on me.
He NEVER apologies, ever!

So anyways, I really need to say that, and I really don't care if he sees this.

Thank you all for the Favorites and the Llama's!
It was so many I got tragically overwhelmed.
Lol.
So I want to Thank all of you here, and be cool with it.
Hopefully I won't get overwhelmed next time.
Lol.
Oh, and anyone who gave me a Llama, do not worry I will give you guys your llamas as well.
Give Llama, get Llama.